Happy, healthy and single
Living alone is a future happiness
Single life was once considered an imperfect life. Thankfully, things are changing as more and more people accept this lifestyle choice.
When I was young, I watched so many friends and family get married, and I had no interest in it. I thought I was just slow. I feel like getting married is like being bitten by a bug, and I haven’t been bitten yet.
Eventually I realized that I would never be bitten, that “single” was who I was, and who I was forever. Once it happens, everything falls into place. In my personal life, I have decided to embark on a path that will always feel right for me. I will be single, happy, unapologetic. I’ve had a new career. Since then, I have pursued my passion – research and writing, and I have described being single as a life that is well lived.
I said I like being single, but it’s not quite right. Some people think that because I am single, there is no life, so I can work when no one wants to. Some of my friends went to dinner and a movie with other couples over the weekend, and I was relegated to the usual lunches and kids’ birthday parties. The first person I met, when I learned that I was single, sometimes offered to solve my problems. But I never thought I’d be broken.
I wondered if other singles had similar experiences, so I started asking them. I do it for the first time, in a social activity, I went to a woman who I think is single side, asked her if she feel because of the single received a different treatment or treatment. She once! She told me her story.
Others join us and share their stories. This has been going on for quite some time. The next morning, I received emails from several people at the event, thinking of other experiences. At another social gathering in the near future, I did the same thing, and the whole sequence unfolded in the same way.
Apparently, I was groping for a nerve.
Too many people see us single people living a second life. I know why they think we should get pity, not praise for a better life. This is what they hear in the media and in everyday life.
According to tradition, almost everyone wants to get married. What’s more, science has shown that married people are becoming happier, healthier, more and more people, and better and better.
What does the study actually say
I was a social scientist, so I didn’t accept what I heard on the surface, but read the original research report in the journal science. I was surprised at what I found. The power of change in marriage is often exaggerated or clearly wrong.
Marriage = happiness?
For example, getting married makes people happier. The best study was to follow people in the adult life, to see if the married people were happier or more satisfied with their lives or their relationships than single people. A review of 18 studies found that the most common answer was no.
At best, newlyweds experience a temporary “honeymoon effect” : when they first get married, they feel more satisfied with their lives. But when they’re single, they’re back to being satisfied or dissatisfied.
Married = healthier?
Marriage also doesn’t seem to make people healthier. In a 16-year study, more than 11,000 Swiss adults asked about their overall health and their illnesses each year. Married people did not report any illness less than single. When they first got married, their overall health was slightly worse, and their health declined during the marriage.
Married = more connections?
Another way of saying about singles is that they are isolated and alone. As long as they get married, the story ends, and they are more connected to other people. Those beliefs are completely wrong.
Compared with married people, single people are more likely to stay in touch with friends and relatives and communicate with them. When couples move in or get married, they become more lonely: they have less contact with their parents and less time with their friends.
Change your attitude
Single people are diverse. They include fully embrace the single life of people like me, those who single happiness, but if high standards can accept a romantic relationship, and really want to join the other people.
Studies have shown that people who are not afraid of being single are better off than those who worry about being single. They are more open-minded, less neurotic, and less likely to hurt their feelings. Nor are they likely to feel lonely or depressed.
Millions of people are unmarried in Canada and the world. The meaning of one person to another is different. For me, it means spending a lot of time reading and writing, walking on the edge of the Pacific Ocean, walking the farmers’ market and partying with friends. For others, it’s different. However, more and more things do not mean an imperfect life.
Modern feelings are changing. We walked a long way. We are all looking for our own way of happiness.