Happy, healthy, single
Living alone is the happiness of the future
Single life was once considered an imperfect life. Fortunately, this is happening as more people accept this lifestyle choice
I am 63 years old and the only person in my life. I like being single. Single life is not what I insist on. It’s my choice. This is my plan A.
When I was young, I saw a lot of friends and family getting married. I thought I was just slow. I feel like being married is like being bitten by an insect. I haven’t been bitten yet.
Finally, I realized that I would never be bitten. “single” was me and who I was. Once it happens, everything will be in place. In my personal life, I decided to take a path that would always suit me. I’ll be single, happy and unapologetic. I have a new career. Since then, I’ve been pursuing my passion — research and writing — and I’ve described being single as a good life.
I say I like being single, but it’s not right. Some people think that because I am single and have no life, I can work when no one wants to. Some of my friends went out to dinner and movies with other couples over the weekend. The first person I met, when I learned that I was single, sometimes asked to solve my problems. But I never thought I would be broken.
I wanted to know if other singles had similar experiences, so I started asking them. I did this for the first time. At a social event, I went to a woman I thought was single and asked her if she thought she had received different treatment or treatment because she was single. She once! She told me her story.
Others join us and share their stories. This has been going on for some time. The next morning, I received an email from several people and thought about other experiences. At another social gathering in the near future, I did the same thing, and the sequence unfolded in the same way.
Obviously, I’m feeling for a nerve.
Too many people see us single people living a second life. I know why they think we should be pitied, not praised for a better life. This is what they hear in the media and in everyday life.
According to tradition, almost everyone wants to get married. More importantly, science has shown that married people are happier, healthier, more people, and better.
What does the study actually say
I’m a social scientist, so I don’t accept what I hear on the surface, but I read the original research reports in journal science. I was surprised at what I found. The power of marriage change is often exaggerated or clearly wrong.
Marriage = happiness?
For example, marriage makes people happier. The best research is to follow adults and see if married people are happier or more satisfied with their lives or relationships than single people. A review of 18 studies found that the most common answer was no.
At best, newlyweds experience a temporary “honeymoon effect” : when they get married for the first time, they feel more satisfied with their lives. But when they are single, they return to a state of satisfaction or dissatisfaction.
Marriage = better health?
Nor does marriage seem to make people healthier. In a 16-year study, more than 11,000 Swiss adults were asked about their overall health and illness each year. Married people did not report any illness lower than being single. When they first married, their overall health was slightly worse, and their health declined during the marriage.
Married = more connections?
Another way of saying that single people are isolated and alone. As long as they’re married and the story ends, they’re more connected to other people. Those beliefs are completely wrong.
Single people are more likely to keep in touch with friends and family and communicate with them than married people. When couples move in or marry, they become more lonely: they have less contact with their parents and spend less time with friends.
Change your attitude
Single people are diverse. They include completely embracing the single life of someone like me, single and happy, but accepting a romantic relationship with high standards and really wanting to join others.
Research shows that people who are not afraid of being single are better off than those who are worried about being single. They are more open, less neurotic and less likely to hurt their feelings. They also don’t feel lonely or depressed.
Millions of people are unmarried in Canada and around the world. One person means different things to another. For me, it means spending a lot of time reading and writing, walking on the edge of the Pacific, walking in farmers’ markets and meeting with friends. For others, the situation is different. However, more and more things do not mean imperfect life.
Modern emotions are changing. We’ve come a long way. We are all looking for ways to be happy.